fred hatman

I am fed up to the back teeth with the “SA-negatives”, both South African and foreign, who seem to be willing our soon-to-be-phenomenal World Cup – and our beloved nation – to fail. Did they even bother to witness the scenes of beautiful “ubuntu” which played out between the predominantly white Bulls and Stormers supporters [...]

All those “SA-positives” who visit here know that I love a good vuvuzela, the cultural weapon of choice for hardcore Bafana Bafana supporters. In fact, I was horrified to learn that some do-gooder has banned the use of our vuvus on aeroplane flights around South Africa during our most phenomenal of all World Cups, now [...]

We can be as “SA-positive” as a life-sized biltong replica of Table Mountain, dear Hatpeople, but if some English footy fans want to get trashed and start rorting (fighting) with nationals from every country with which Britain has ever been at war (including, I suppose, the Zulu and Boer tribes), then our World Cup cops [...]

Football didn’t originate on Robben Island but the playing of the game on the island by apartheid’s political prisoners can be said to have led to South Africa’s hosting of the global footballing showpiece in just 408 hours’ time. Witness this… So President Jacob Zuma was a tough-tackling and uncompromising central defender? I do like [...]

There’s only one person I dig less than a foreigner criticising South Africa. Actually, let’s start again. there are only two people I dig less than a foreigner criticising my country and those are a South African expat living overseas whingeing about South Africa and a South African living here in the most amazing country [...]

There are some enduring images of football, our planet’s beautiful game. None more enduring (for me) than the one Dad snapped of me falling on my jacksie while failing to convert from the penalty spot and score the winner for Pirates under-16A in the Maritzburg and District Football Association cup final back in 19-voetsek. Never [...]

I rather enjoyed writing that headline. No, it’s nothing to do with intelligence received about a planned terrorist attack on the USA training camp during the World Cup in South Africa. This is about a different type of intelligence. Or rather a lack of it… It would seem that flying through a humungous volcanic ash [...]

In Loving Memory — Rodney John Hartman 25/02/1949 — 19/05/2010 – http://gatorurl.com/gojfva

The staff here at Hatman Mansions have brought to my attention a report that British actress and Austin Powers stunner Elizabeth Hurley is on the lookout for a new child to add to her meagre sprog-count of one son (Damian, 8). I think I can help. In fact, sod that, I know I can help. [...]

Some of you may recall that I got involved in a very jolly jape earlier this year, in which one of my nuttier mates Geoff “The Heartman” Brink rode a UNICYCLE from Durban to Cape Town. That’s right. One man, one wheel… and one hell of a ride which lasted 58 days and covered nearly [...]