fred hatman

I’ve always been an “SA-positive” South African. Especially since 1994 and that small matter of us becoming a democracy. But this most stunningly beautiful of all World Cups has the bell at the top of my Positiv-o-meter clanging like Oprah Winfrey running wild and loose in the Durban Philharmonic Orchestra’s brass section. I want to [...]

In the third of my weekly interviews with the beautiful characters of my home village of Stanford (Western Cape), I posed the “Big Five” questions to Rosalind “Roz” Nale of the homelier-than-home Galashiels Lodge, a family-run guesthouse in the middle of town. Here she is… FH: Please give us a little personal background, Roz. Where [...]

I must confess. I could have sworn Frank Lampard’s shot which hit the German crossbar fell over the line and should have been awarded with “goal” status. But we can’t argue with this, can we?

I feared the worst when World Cup 2010 Local Organising Committee head honcho Danny Jordaan said that vuvuzelas would only be banned at this World Cup if they were thrown on to the field of play or used in an irresponsible fashion. There goes our vuvu, I thought. All it takes is one plonker to [...]

Look. There are times when I feel like I’m groping in the dark on this blog. And this is definitely one of them. I’ve been linked on to the London Guardian’s fantastic World Cup fans’ network for this football fandango, the best thing that’s happened to South Africa since the invention of Marmite, and I’ve [...]

My dear Hatpeople, may I have the privilege of introducing you to writer Helen Walne. I am even more of  a fan of Helen’s left-field writing style than I am of Simphiwe Tshabalala’s left-wing artistry. And that’s saying a lot. Here, in a guest post for fredhatman.co.za, Helen insists that, regardless of how beautiful our [...]

Right. Where are we? Oh, yes, the World Cup. Twenty-nine matches down, many more compelling dramas to come! None more so for we South Africans than tomorrow afternoon’s crunch encounter against the children of France. Sacre bleu!Are you up to speed with what’s been going down, down, down in the French camp? And it has [...]

So, in this extraordinary piece of video, Wayne Rooney can be heard having a little post-Algeria match rant against the England fans who booed the team in Cape Town last night. Have a watch… and then we’ll, how does one say, break it all down… That’s right. That’s what he said. Something like “Nice to [...]

Eureka! After poring over my old Casio calculator for one hour and failing miserably, the boys at Kickoff magazine have come to our rescue! Due to my acute IDD (Intelligence Deficit Disorder) and my old maths teacher’s propensity for chalking up insane maths formulas on the blackboard with one hand and almost immediately wiping them [...]

So you’re slumped over your desk, waving a tear-stained segment of ultra-soft double-ply at the imaginary Uruguayan who has conducted a ghost-like coup of Thandi’s workstation opposite you? And his sneer is doing a damn good job of imitating that of Diego bloody Forlan standing over yet another free-kick? Understandable. But wait, bru. All is [...]