Movember Mo-off (Phase 2): Porn star Seth vs Muthatrucker Geoff!

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I don’t know if it’s in the water but Durban – and Umdloti in particular – has sprouted some scary moustaches for Cansa’s “Mo-vember” campaign to raise awareness of those cancers that nibble lethally away at men… prostate, testicular and, yes, breast cancer can pick on men too. You didn’t know that, did you?

So a lot of guys are strolling around South Africa and sporting ‘taches which are terrifying the living daylightsness out of their womenfolk. Hang in there, ladies, you can order him to de-tache in just six days’ time. Meanwhile, an update on the “Great Umdloti vs Camps Bay Mo-off”, a friendly tussle between Heart & Sole marathon unicyclist Geoff “Heartman” Brink and Cape Town’s “sex symbol” blogger Seth Rotherham.

So without further hair-do (OK, so I’ve used that line before but I like it too much, all right?), let’s brace ourselves for the second phase pics of their top-lip turnouts… first up, Seth “I’ve gone for the Porn Star vibe” Rotherham…

Hmmm, I'm not entirely convinced many porn stars are looking over their hairy shoulders in fear at Seth's paltry turnout... but, hey, I don't want to influence the judges' decision here!

Next up, and I suggest you cover your children’s eyes for this one, our nutty Umdloti marathon unicyclist, Geoff “MuthaTrucker” Brink…

Golly gumdropsness! He does look rather terrifying, doesn't he? In a kind of "Umdloti Has A Village Idiot And I'm It" kind of way. Actually, he's quite harmless... without a razor in his mitt!

Well. I’m not sure what to say. Except perhaps Camps Bay’s sexiest blogger might have some catching up to do. Not that I’m taking sides. No. I’ll leave that to the judges. Er, that will be me. And I’ll make my decision next week. End of Movember, right?

Right. Now for a little light relief. If that wasn’t light enough for you. Last time out, my guest Mo Bro was Springbok rugby legend Bob Skinstad. The last I heard, he had taken refuge in a snug in a Dublin pub ahead of the South Africa vs Ireland match and was dyeing his moustache with Guinness. So who to feature this week?

Oh, all right. Without any public demand whatsoever, our guest Mo Bro is… er, me. Sorry. Julius Malema’s PR guru, if that’s not a contradiction in terms, said Mr Malema was not yet old enough to grow a ‘tache (or be potty-trained) so you’ll have to suffer this…

Er, yes. Sorry. Cool hat, hey?

Look. You can stop laughing. I’m trying. OK? If you’re doing better with your mo, bro, then e-mail it to me at fred@fredhatman.co.za and I’ll ridicule you this time next week when our “Great Camps Bay vs Umdloti Mo-off” contest closes. But you won’t dare, will you? Scaredycatness!

Cool. Seth Rotherham’s life as a sex symbol blogger and lightweight ‘tacheman can be followed at 2oceansvibe.com and Geoff “Heartman” Brink’s exploits as a marathon unicyclist raising awareness of the landmines that unnecessarily kill can be witnessed at the official Heart & Sole tour blog. Just swing your cursor to the left to find “Categories” and click on “Heart & Sole”. Beware of the killer ‘tache!