The Heart & Sole Tour – The Last Post: Never mind the bollards!

Only now am I able to deliver the Last Post on The Heart and Sole Tour saga.

And it is delivered in pretty much the same key as Peter Sellers used to such diabolical effect in the opening scenes of The Party.

I hope that you, dear Hatpeople, will find this as funny. But I doubt it.

Because it’s not. It has taken me damn nigh a week to even begin to drain the porridge from my stultified brain and start to order some thought process about the rather epic two-month unicycle ride from Durban to Cape Town, which ended in dramatic fashion at The V&A Waterfront last Friday.

In the case of our phenomenally gutsy unicyclist, Geoff Brink, it was utter physical exhaustion which enveloped him once the adrenaline began to ebb from his body at the end of his record 2,000km one-wheeled feat. But it was the mental pressure required of us to focus on finishing our cavalier mission, amid some distracting sideshows, which led to us spectacularly falling out at the finish line.

Kim, Geoff's fiancee, joins the Heart and Sole Tour at Peregrine's Farm Stall near Grabouw on the penultimate day of the crazy ride

And only now can this story be told.

Please know that we were always mindful of the fact that the Heart and Sole Tour was about raising awareness of the awful devastation that landmines continue to wreak on the lives of innocent civilians around the world. And, of course, it should always have been about that alone. But Geoff Brink and I are only human. And very fallible humans at that. So it was that, early in the tour, when pressure was brought to bear on us from back home, that the ugly spectre of the male ego leapt to the fore. The jostling for position in the Heart & Sole roadside pod of the alpha male instinct began to permeate the high-spirited vibe of our beautiful roadtrip.

Don’t get me wrong. There were bucketfuls of banter, a chuckling stream of laughs and a camaraderie that one comes to expect of two friends combining to achieve something both mad and magnificent. In fact, many of you might question whether the flipside of our tour should be told at all. The Heart & Sole Tour undoubtedly achieved its objective and what purpose is there in hanging out the stinky unwashed laundry for all to sniff at? What goes on tour stays on tour and all that crap.

Geoff "Heartman" Brink negotiates the downhill treachery of Sir Lowry's Pass. A moment of respectfulness, please!

I’ll answer that. I have mulled over this for nearly a week. I am fascinated by the human condition. That is why I chose journalism as a career. I am equally captivated by the human spirit. And this piece of introspection – should that be “retrospection”? – is about wanting to understand how Geoff and I managed to complete our trip despite our differences as much as because of the unity we displayed when it really mattered.

I have talked with people about this since I emerged blinking into the bright Cape Town sunlight from the highly buffered bubble that was our “hard shoulder crawl” across our great country. Some have drawn comparisons with “The Long Way Down”, Ewan McGregor’s and Charlie Boorman’s motorcycle jaunt from Britain through Europe and down to the foot of Africa.

I must confess that I have yet to watch the whole movie. Geoff and I began to watch it as an entertaining aside to our minimal preparation for the Heart and Sole Tour but, dismayed by the showiness, grandstanding and, quite frankly, over-indulgence displayed over what amounted to a pretty easy ride, fell asleep.

I don’t see the similarities. Yes, Geoff’s fiancee, Kim Millar joined us towards the end of our ride, a development that, for me, was both unexpected and temporarily gripped me with trepidation… but, such was my determined hyperfocus on getting our unicyclist safely to the Mother City that her presence in the back-up truck proved to matter not a jot. And I know that Geoff was greatly motivated by his sweetheart to bravely finish what he had started.

Mmmm. "Cape Town, 40km"? Take that!

What caused our “Skirmish at The Clock Tower” was the result of two very tired minds and one exhausted body melting down after 58 days of intense concentration and unbelievable strain. So what happened, you may ask? OK. Fair question. But I’m not saying. I have too much respect for what Geoff achieved and, yes, for what we as a team did for people who deserve a better life than to tarnish in detail the magnificent outcome of the Heart and Sole Tour.

Never mind the bollards which prohibited myself and the back-up truck from following our unicyclist – and our final-day amaonetya.co.za escort of unicyclists Alan van Heerden and Johnny Cronje down to the Clock Tower. After watching Geoff’s back for 58 days and nigh on 2,000km, a row of concrete bollards stopped me from seeing the boys home. Emotions spilled over. There were harsh words. It was unsavoury. It was, after what we had been through, almost inevitable. It happened. It is over. It’s gone. Gone, gone, gone. No regrets. We move on. We have learned lessons.

Johnny (left) and Alan (right) of amaonetya.co.za and OddWheel Unicycles escort Geoff into Cape Town and safely down to the V & A Waterfront. Awesomeness, guys!

Before we set out on December 28, 2009 on a mission which many called impossible, both Geoff and I knew that there would be challenges for which we could not prepare, that lessons would be taught that might make better people of us. And so it proved. And I am massively thankful for this gift. I remain privileged to have had the experience of supporting Geoff Brink on his incredible journey.

Crikey, what a ripper, Nige! You are a total mensch.

All pix (apart from this one): Hatman

* I will be working with Kai von Pannier of The Sole of Africa to draw up a full list of individuals, companies and establishments which should be acknowledged for the part they played in helping The Heart and Sole Tour to achieve its objective.

In the meantime, I would like to thank these people for the enormous help – and inspiration – they gave Geoff and I: John Fogarty, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Kim Millar, Olivia “OJ” Symcox, Rox-ann Govender, Kai and Cindy von Pannier, Mike Kendrick, Toni Rowland, Dilana, Sir Richard Branson, John L. Evans, Alan van Heerden, Johnny Cronje, Sharon Heger Basel, Steve Connor, Jimmy Reynolds, Andre Cronje, Rob Gower, Rich and Sarah McLennan, Neil and Hayley Millar, Kathy Reay, Dennis Theron, Pierre and Elise Brink, Jonny and Jane Roberts, Keith Chapman, Vaughan Raw, Warren Bartram, Donatella Pontesilli, Doc and Maggie Mears, Mama Cordelia, Martin Schroder, Toni Brodelle, Emily Shayler, Paul Chew, Janet Marshall, Marc Forrest, Mike Adams, Mandy Morgan, Fred and Yolandi Roed, Mike Perk, Clayton and Paula Whitaker, Father Matthias, Mama Zondeka, Nic Nel, Marcelle Delew-Kappen, Andreas Kappen, Brett Horner, Julie Davies, Seth Rotherham, Mike Kuttner, Jacqui Daniels, Riaan Manser, Bob Skinstad, Claire Alexander, Dave Duarte, Chris Rawlinson, Mike Saxby, Ken Taytasac, Penny Sandham, Carol-Anne Stephenson, Craig Bettridge, Vicky Nardell, Annette Oberholster, Helen Walne, Brandon McGugan, Martina Gilli, Michelle Solomon, Krista (New York), Neal Collins, Chris Whitfield, Lesley Byram, Marilyn Bernard, Wendy Landau, Dhashen Moodley. If anybody feels left out, it’s because you will be thanked in the full list to appear on both The Sole Of Africa website and this blog.

* One last thing. Both Geoff and I exhausted our savings on The Heart & Sole Tour. He’s a freelance photographer and a very good one at that. We both need to find paid work, he to finance his forthcoming wedding, I to pay the rent for a ramshackle dwelling down near the river. Should you have some paid work to slide our way, that would be completely cool. Ta!

Sir Richard Branson’s message of support for The Heart & Sole Tour’s unicyclist

richard-branson-pic

“Geoff, I wish you the best of luck. I know how painful riding a unicycle can be! I hear you are regarded as ‘slightly mad’. Well, join the club! And ride safely.” Richard

This is the message I received in an e-mail from Sir Richard Branson, founder of the Virgin group of companies and one of the patrons of the Mineseeker Foundation.

To say that Heart & Sole Tour unicyclist Geoff “Heartman: Brink and I are chuffed about this is an understatement on a stratospheric scale. Inspirationalness overload, dear Hatpeople!

If we weren’t hitherto inspired enough to finish this 1,700 mad adventure from Durban to Cape Town, we are now.

We leave from Wilson’s Wharf in Durban at 8.30am tomorrow. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. You can follow us almost every kilometre of the way by checking our progress on this blog… and help our cause of raising awareness of the evil of landmines by sharing this with your friends.

* You may also be updated by following “fredhatman” on Twitter (simply click on that chubby blue bird perched at the top of this page) or join the Facebook group “Heart & Sole Unicycle Tour – Durban to Cape Town”. There will be regular updates posted on there each and every day of our unicycle ride, expected to last about seven weeks…

AmaOneTyre! AmaOneHeartman! AmaOneWorldWithoutLandmines!

Madman to unicycle across South Africa to help landmine campaign… and raise enough cash to afford a snazzy wedding

Watch out, Cape Town… the Heartman cometh… or, rather, he unicycleth. You read that correctly. UNICYCLETH. One wheel, babies. From Durbs to the Mother City.

No pork. It was announced in Durban last night that Geoff Brink, freelance photographer, treefeller and up-for-anything adventurer, will unicycle across South Africa later this year to raise awareness of The Sole of Africa, a South Africa-based NGO run by the Mineseeker Foundation. The Sole of Africa – its patrons include Nelson Mandela, Graca Michel, Sir Richard Branson and Brad Pitt – works to rid the earth of landmines and support those people, mostly women and children, whose limbs and lives have been blighted by the largely hidden curse of mines left behind after wars have ended.

But why “Heartman”? Well, where there is “Sole”, romance is never far behind. Geoff “Heartman” Brink has, as always, a personal agenda. He hopes that, by riding on one wheel from Durban to Cape Town, he can raise sufficient cash to give the love of his life quite a snazzy wedding. Aaaah. Sweetness or what? Poor woman. But she – Geoff’s sweetheart shall remain nameless for now – says she does know what she is letting herself in for. But she can’t help herself. True loveness, eh?

I’m fine with that. I wasn’t that fine with lying in the middle of the road on Umdloti’s beachfront yesterday, trying to get pictures of The Heartman wobbling around on his unicycle. Please sit back, light something, pour something… and enjoy these three images.

The Heartman knows not the meaning of "Stop"

The Heartman knows not the meaning of "Stop"

Wait! It's up, up and... er, the crew on the ship out at sea duck for cover...

Wait! It's up, up and... er, the crew on the ship out at sea duck for cover...

Oh. My. Hat. Heartman's gone 10 metres without falling, over-confidence has set in and it's styling it over a speed-hump!

Oh. My. Hat. Heartman's gone 10 metres without falling, over-confidence has set in and it's styling it over a speed-hump!

That’s the way he rolls. Our Heartman. A lovable nutter (as originally revealed here.). I can’t think of many people who would have the guts to attempt this thing. Can you imagine Kingsley Holgate on a unicycle? Can you imagine the state of Heartman’s bum a week into the Heart & Sole Tour? Ouchness.

So we’re in discussions with rather excited sponsors and brainstorming the whole logistics side of Heart & Sole (f you’re interested in getting involved in any way, use the “Contact Us” doodah below). And you’ll find The Sole of Africa here. Cool. It’s time for today’s first practice session so Heartman and Hatman are off to amuse the people of Umdloti (and send the local dogs running for cover). Catch you later.