fred hatman

Everybody knows that I love dogs. What’s not to love? They never dig holes. They don’t even think about burying bones. They never bark at shadows. And they’re not at all obsessed about balls being thrown for them. Especially not my two Jack Russells, the Scrapster and Dodney Doodlebug. Very low maintenance. Unlike cats. Don’t [...]

Pardon me if your Afrikaans is not up to deciphering the above headline (mine isn’t) but there’s something about to happen in my home village that brings out the klein bietjie boereseun (little bit of farmer boy) in me. Stand back Hatmense, I’m about to announce South Africa’s Barn Dance of the Year! Jami and [...]

Some people are of the opinion that the only good crocodile is a monster croc that’s eaten a few Australians. And then survives the ensuing terrible tummy bug to chomp on a few more. But I think that’s very unkind and would never condone such cruelty. Cruelty to animals is just not my bag. So [...]

If I loved Stanford before this weekend, I don’t have the words to describe how I feel about it now. I had never been down the river. I’ve sat and stared at the reflections in it. I’ve swam in it. I’ve thrown the ball into it for the Scrapster and Doodlebug, my two delinquent Jack [...]

In this, the fourth of my occasional interviews with interesting people who live in my home village of Stanford in the Western Cape, I ask the “Big Five” questions of Jill Smith, who runs the local agency of Pam Golding Properties. It is fitting that I publish this interview today, on Women’s Day, because Jill [...]

As you may well know, there are myriad top-notch brands that are just gagging to be associated with the fredhatman.co.za success story. Every morning I wake up to an inbox chock-a-block with offers of free suites at premier hotels, free dinners at top-rated restaurants, free round-the-world cruises, free clothing, free wine, free i-Pads, free tickets [...]

Smoking gets a bad press. England footballer Wayne Rooney gets a bad press. Put the two together and what do you get? You get the sickeningly sanctimonious London Daily Mail, desperate to flog more papers, frothing righteously around its grubby mouth. Somebody saw Rooney smoking and, allegedly, urinating in public while on a night out [...]

The Scottish town of Inverness and environs has done very well out of a monster that may or may not exist. Well, have you seen the Loch Ness Monster? No, I didn’t think so. It may just all be a rather shrewd marketing ploy by those canny Scots. In Stanford, where we have our own [...]

A lot of South Africans have a close relationship with beer. In fact, I’ve just enjoyed a dirty weekend with Ms Birkenhead, the pride of Stanford. But I’ll spare you the sordid details. Rather focus, if you can, on these nutty-flavoured facts… * The SAB World of Beer was officially judged South Africa’s top tourist [...]

I was having a day off, listening to Seth\’s stunning 2oceansvibe radiostream and trying really hard not to touch myself at the same time, when this little gem rolled into the collective unconscious of Hatman Mansions on a Saturday morning… oh, this carries a “You Might Fall Off Your Chair And Crush The Cat You’ll [...]