Some people are of the opinion that the only good crocodile is a monster croc that’s eaten a few Australians. And then survives the ensuing terrible tummy bug to chomp on a few more.
But I think that’s very unkind and would never condone such cruelty. Cruelty to animals is just not my bag. So I’m appalled to learn that a giant crocodile measuring a stunning 6.5m (that’s about 22 feet from snout to tip of tail) was murdered in cold blood in Manangoora, up in the remote Northern Territory of Australia, after a few locals reported that some distant cousins had become even more distant. As in not seen by anybody since “Croc-zilla” moved into the area.
Shame. Shame on the Aussie nation for wasting such a beautiful specimen. The late and great Steve Irwin must be writhing in his grave. At a missed opportunity to engage in some riverine WWF with a croc of this magnitude.
Let’s have a look at this beast…
Nice. A young Australian girl is taught the valuable life lesson that trucks are of far more value to Aussie society than its indigenous wildlife.
That there is one gorgeous crocodile, is it not? And one very dead one. It’s crime? To nibble on a few Outbackers and get so big that it was terrifying the life out of the livestock that Manangoora farmers use to make a living. So somebody killed it. Sis. It is clear that the technique of darting wild animals and moving them to a place of safety, employed almost on a worldwide basis, hasn’t yet reached Manangoora.
Outrageous. Manangoorans are clearly a bunch of wusses. If we happened across a stunning croc such as this one here in Stanford, we’d just ask Oom Jan to show it who’s boss by giving it a light smack on the ear, sufficiently hard to stun it for 20 minutes, stick it on the back of his Land Rover and plonk it in a nice enclosure on his farm.
And then turn our “Croc-zilla” into another on our ridiculously long list of tourist attractions. Ja, that’s just how we roll here in South Africa. We like to keep the “life” in “wildlife”.
* Dear Hatpeople, if you scroll up to your right on this page, you’ll see a big fat badge saying something about the 2010 South African Blog Awards. I’ve entered your “diagnosed SA-positive” blog into three categories: Best New Blog, Best Personal Blog and The Kulula Best Travel Blog. I wouldn’t be at all offended if you clicked on that there badge and nominated http://www.fredhatman.co.za in any of these categories (be sure to type in your e-mail address on the blog awards site for your nomination to be registered). In fact, were I to amaze all of us by winning something, the Birkenhead is on me – but not for Australians – down the Stanford Arms! Cheers!
I’m an utter sports nut. Well, a football, rugby and cricket man. Liverpool FC, Lamontville Golden Arrows, The Sharks, The KZN Dolphins and, on the international front, Bafana Bafana, the Springboks and the Proteas. Non-negotiable. Arguing with me about my choice of teams is like arguing with the ref after he’s made his decision. And like Grand Prix racing, the Tour de France and that WWF malarkey – totally pointless.
So, we’re talking sport this morning. Especially some not altogether widely-known trivia to do with South African sport. Fascinating stuff…
“When Vincent Tshabalala won the French Open in 1976, he became the first black golfer to win a major tournament on the European Circuit.”
“Bob Hewitt and Frew McMillan won 57 career doubles titles, including three Wimbledon crowns. After teaming up, they played 45 matches before being beaten.”
How cool is Frew's cap? Pic: Getty Images
“Grant Khomo captained the National Soccer XI, won the SA singles and doubles tennis titles, represented Transvaal at cricket and rugby and captained the SA Bantu Rugby Board first team.”
“Ernie Els was the first non-US golfer in 90 years to win the US Open twice, a feat repeated two years later by another South African, Retief Goosen.”
“More than 50% of the world’s paragliding records have been set in South Africa.”
“Football (soccer) is South Africa’s most popular sport and is followed by 78% of South African adults, according to an SABC Markinor survey in 2004. Rugby is next most popular at 47%, followed by cricket (39%).” Er, followed by wrestling (25%). Eish.
* If you scroll up to your right on this page, you’ll see a big fat badge saying something about the 2010 South African Blog Awards. I’ve entered your “diagnosed SA-positive” blog into three categories: Best New Blog, Best Personal Blog and The Kulula Best Travel Blog. I wouldn’t be at all offended if you clicked on that there badge and nominated http://www.fredhatman.co.za in any of these categories (be sure to type in your e-mail address on the blog awards site for your nomination to be registered). In fact, were I to amaze all of us by winning something, the Birkenhead is on me down the Stanford Arms! Cheers!
I just went down to the beach. I didn’t take my board because, as the Umdloti crew know, I can’t be bothered with anything under five feet.
So I thought I might have myself a good swim but, when I stuck my head under the water there were none of those familiar clicking noises so I knew my friends were playing away. I love my dolphins. They give me a good goof for my money.
I toyed with the idea of swimming out to one of the ships anchored several miles out but none seemed to answer to the description of a megayacht teeming with Genevieve Morton look-a-likes tanning topless around the pool so I gave that a miss too.
The wind was down, ruling out any rad kitesurfing, and after the really rather rude way in which a Great White tried to chomp my leg the other day, I decided against free-wrestling with sharks as a way to enhance my Friday.
So what was an extreme sportsman like me to do? I fell back on a doing a spot of shell-collecting, of course. But I hadn’t even located my first cowrie when I was nearly knocked off my feet by a young woman. Not the Viennese Vixen this time, thank Godness, but by a powerwalker.
At least I think that’s what they call them. You know, those people, usually retired and wrinkly, who try to walk really fast and move their arms with a vicious pump-action vibe. But this one was young and, to be honest, quite foxy and, after nearly walking through me, she kicked up the sand as she zoomed, road-runner-like, over the horizon with clenched fists punching the air. I saw less focus in the eyes of Usain Bolt when he drilled the 100m in about 2.3 seconds a few months ago.
I mean, after croquet, foxhunting, WWF wrestling and running very long distances to possibly pick up a medal, powerwalking has to be the most ridiculous extra-mural activity around.
This was all quite upsetting, especially after the double-whammy of having no dolphins to swim with or sharks to beat up, so I came home.
My mood was immediately uplifted when I saw a surfer friend had sent me an update on the lifestyle progress of my boy Rob Machado. For those of you who aren’t up to speed on Rob, he’s a pretty decent surfer and, I’m stoked to say, is certainly showing some improvement in getting his lifestyle right.
UPDATE: The World Wildlife Fund have distanced themselves from the TV ad (below), strongly condemning the making and subsequent broadcasting of it and blaming it on an independent agency linked to the Brazilian WWF. See their statement. I’m fine with that. I still think it drives home a powerful message to we who inhabit the planet. But that’s just me. What does everybody else think? Fred Hatman.
Is this just a tad insensitive… or does it make a humungously powerful point?
Note: To play without interruption, press “Pause”, allow vid to fully buffer and then press “Play”.
I’m going to stick my red hat above the parapet, refuse to duck… and shout it out from the rooftop: “The WWF ad is brave, timely and makes a humungously powerful point.”